Go with the drunk driver, honey.
We were visiting my wife’s family last week, and on Friday we all went to dinner. There was lots of drinking, but as far as I knew, the drivers (myself included) were staying sober. We had 4 cars:
- My family + my wife’s parents
- My wife’s brother’s family
- My SIL and her husband.
- My SIL’s 17yo and 10yo daughters
On the way home, the 17yo got distracted by the radio and knocked the side mirror off on a parked car. So cars #4 (the kids) and #3 (the parents) stopped to leave a note, and the 10yo was understandably not keen on driving the rest of the way with the 17yo. So she went home in the car her dad was driving, car #3.
The next day I was talking to the 10yo about the accident, and she said the accident was scary, but that she was really scared when her mom was yelling at her to hurry up and get in her dad’s car. I asked why she was scared, and she told me, “She was yelling at me to hurry up because there was a cop behind us and my dad had been drinking at dinner, and even though he hadn’t caused the accident he was still driving and if the cop came over he could put my dad in jail so we had to leave right then.”
My SIL yelled at her daughter to get in the car with a drunk driver.
You have no idea how fucking mad I am about this. That my BIL would drive drunk. That my BIL would drive drunk with his kid in the car. THAT MY SIL WOULD TELL MY NEICE TO GET IN THE CAR BEFORE HER DAD WENT TO JAIL FOR DRUNK DRIVING! HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU DUMB CUNT? Jesus H, you’re supposed to yell at her for getting IN a car with a drunk driver, not for not getting in fast enough!
We left about 2 hours after my niece told me, but before we did I told her that it doesn’t matter that her parents do it, she should NEVER drive drunk, and she shouldn’t get in the car with someone who’s been drinking again. I could tell by the way she nodded that she knew they were idiots, but it’s not much consolation.
I haven’t called my SIL about it yet. I just don’t know what to say, and it’s harder because the 10yo is visiting some other family in another part of the state until later this week so they can’t sit and talk about it.
Meanwhile, I’ll sit here fuming.
Is this your wife’s sister or your wife’s brother’s wife who is acting the part of insane parent? Not that it makes a difference. No matter what you say here, you’re going to find yourself in a world of trouble with your wife’s family.
Not that I think you shouldn’t say anything, I absolutely think you should. But, I think you really want to think about how you say it so that a) your niece doesn’t end up in trouble with her parents and b) your wife doesn’t end up in a huge battle with the rest of her family. Though honestly? With family like that she should join me in the more or less family free zone. It’s quiet here
It’s my wife’s sister and her husband/daughter.
I haven’t figured out what exactly I’m going to say…probably something along the lines of “your daughter was scared when you were yelling at her to get in the car faster before the cop arrested her dad for drunk driving.” Then see where it goes from there. I imagine it’ll go nowhere, but at least they’ll know their daughter was freaked out by the whole thing. I don’t think she told them WHY she was freaked out. All they told me was that the 10yo was freaked out by the accident.
Just linked over here via Twitter. Now you’re on my read list!
That’s absolutely CRAZY!!!! I don’t know that I could control myself very well. I’ve been known to screech at people about texting while driving because my sister’s best friend was killed almost 2 years ago (the week before her wedding was to have happened!!) because a trucker was texting while driving and completely ran a light without ever hitting the brakes. For me, drunk driving is right up there. GRR!!!!!
Good luck, and keep us posted!!
Wow. That’s just… wow. I take it your SIL had been drinking and that’s why she wasn’t driving (although under that logic her husband wouldn’t have been either). You should definitely say something. How does your wife feel? Maybe she should be the one to approach it given it’s her sister?
Well, my wife didn’t hear the comments…so it’s not really fair for her to do it. I tried calling yesterday but my SIL didn’t answer. I’ll try again later today. *sigh*
outrageous!
i felt your anger and outrage throughout this post and i had it in me too.
Wow!That is so messed up! What is wrong with your SIL??
You did the right thing by confronting her about it. Obviously she is taking no responsibility for her actions. What an ignoramus! I’m really stringent about drinking and driving. I WILL NOT get in the car if the driver has been drinking. Good for you dadonymous! You tell that SIL!