dadonymous

Sometimes I don’t know why I answer the phone.  I saw the caller ID was one of the other parents at my kids’ preschool, and I guess I answered just in case she’d seen something bad happening with one of my kids.  Deep down I knew it wouldn’t be.  This parent only calls when she sees something that she doesn’t like at the school, and she needs to vent.  And this happens quite a bit.

Anyway, it’s my daughter’s teacher’s last day and apparently she told this mom that she wasn’t going to be getting her final paycheck.  Which, I agree, is an outrage.  IF it’s true (note, the teacher has gotten her paycheck now, a couple of hours later).  But, as I know, communication between the administration and teachers can be, well, let’s just say bad and leave it there.  So I don’t know what was actually said, but this mom was in a frenzy about it.

Where was this kind of outrage when I had to write The Letter That Got A Teacher Fired?  Why did I have to stand alone for that?

So after she got done ranting about that, it moved on to the Lesser Gripes.  The ones I’ve heard before.  The ones that make me long for the end of summer when our children will move on to different schools and I won’t have to deal with her gripe sessions.  Spending money on graduation caps/gowns?  Wasteful!  Buying more teaching materials when they already have some?  Dumb!  Not listening to parents like her?  An outrage!

Yawn.

Then we got into how the principal didn’t care about the children, only about the money.

Oh no she di’int just go there!

Over the years while we’ve been there, I can say that if the principal cared about money she’d be a better businesswoman.  The school practically leaks money because she’s always hiring more teachers, buying more materials, getting the place new stuff, etc.  To the point where it’s irritating how much money she’s spending.  But it’s not on herself, it’s on the school.

And while we had our problems with the teacher a while back, the school took care of it.  And I deeply believe that when it comes down to it, you can’t fake caring about the children for 3.5 years.  You can have a crappy business model, but you can’t fake your passion with the kids.

So this phone call got me all riled up.  Just like I knew it would when I answered it.  Thank God I had a run to do right afterward, because I would have gone nuts with all that anger floating around in me.  It still pisses me off, but at least I burned some of it off.

It’s remarkable how much my son is really trying my patience lately.  On one hand he’s at that perfect age where he’s putting things together to learn more complex concepts, he’s figuring things out by himself, his sense of humor is really coming out, and he’s developing his personality.  On the other hand, he’s developing his personality.

It turns out he can be a little shit sometimes.

I know, that’s no surprise.  My daughter has had her moments too (still does, as a matter of fact), but my son is picking bad habits up at school much more than E ever did, and it’s really trying my patience.  Or maybe they’re just boy things, I don’t know.

Last night was his turn to pick what was for dinner – he picked pizza, so great, we knew he’d eat it.  After a kiwi, one TINY sliver of pizza (about 1/4 of a slice), and one molecule of broccoli, he got himself a gogurt.  After a couple of squeezes, he squirted it on his plate and began fingerpainting, so he lost it (his plate).  When he realized what I was doing, he lost it (his mind).

His freakout was impressive, and he ended up throwing his bowl across the table at me.  He’s been pushing his dishes around lately when he gets mad (the teacher said he does it at school, too), so I confiscated it and told him his dinner was over.  He spent the next 5 minutes throwing a major tantrum in his room, calmed down enough for me to go get him so he could keep us company at the table, and as soon as he came out he screamed, “Dad, you’re poopy!”

Back to the room, another 10 minutes of full-on tantrum, and dinner was over.  He could come out again.

What’s odd is that he didn’t care once dinner was over.  He didn’t seem hungry (and I know he didn’t eat lunch), so I have no idea what’s going on in his head.  I swear, sometimes that kid drives me bonkers!  To paraphrase Louis C.K., “I love my kid very much, but he’s a fucking asshole.”

Damn Louis CK is funny.

The good thing about this is that in the last couple of months I have more patience than I ever have before.  Throughout all of his episodes like this, I find it MUCH easier to deal with than E ever was.  I don’t know what it is about her that makes me lose my temper so easily…I’d have guessed the boy would make me crazier.

Of course, I have 15 more years until he’s out.

Sweet jeebus, I’m free!  No family at this one…and a shiny new blog for me to ruin play with!  I love the possibilities.  I love the anonymity.  I love the freedom!  I can talk about whatever and whomever I want, bwah ha ha!  WOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*takes off pants and runs around wildly*

Whew, now that I’m done with that, what should I talk about?  Hmm…it turns out that a fresh blog isn’t the only thing one needs to be clever.

Damn.

Well, at least hopefully here I’ll feel a bit freer to talk about what I want without offending family and people I might actually worry about offending. Don’t worry, that’s not YOU. But just in case you need a good running-off…(cover your eyes for the next line, Emily)

Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits.

How “tits” made it on the list I’ll never know, but dang George Carlin was funny.  Anyway, it’s not like I have any big secrets to reveal or anything like that.  I just hate having to censor myself about some things so I’ll try to be more relaxed and honest over here.

If you’re wondering who I used to be, forget it.  I’m not spelling it out here.  Let’s just say I’m a shredhead and leave it at that.  :)