dadonymous

Yeah, so it’s been a while since I made the phone call (related to this post).  I didn’t want to write this post right after making it because I was SO pissed off, and a little confused too.  And now it’s so late that nobody cares, but I figured I’d write something anyway because it’s either that or I have to do some real work.

Anyway, I called my SIL and told her what her 10yo said, and her first instinct was to WAY downplay it.  When I went through word by word what her daughter had told me, and that in essence she’d scared her daughter by telling her to get in the car with a drunk driver, the story changed to “well, that’s not what I meant.”

So apparently what my SIL meant was that my BIL was perfectly fine to be driving, but he’d been drinking at dinner and if the cop even smelled alcohol near the accident he’d be able to put him in jail for drunk driving.  Because the laws are so strict, you know.  And the legal limit is so low it’s ridiculous, because he’s totally fine to be driving after a few beers.

So see?  It wasn’t at all telling her daughter to get in the car with a drunk driver.  She just wanted her daughter to get in the car with a guy who may have smelled like alcohol and probably would have failed a breathalyzer test.

ARGH!

I wish I’d thought to ask her if it would have been okay if the 10yo got in the 17yo’s car after the 17yo had a beer, but I didn’t come up with it in time.  After hearing her thinking, I couldn’t have been more stunned if she’d reached through the phone and hit me in the face with a frying pan.  I must have blinked about a million times, stammered something out, then she told me she’d have my BIL talk to their daughter about it.  We made small talk for a while after that, and I haven’t heard anything since.

We were visiting my wife’s family last week, and on Friday we all went to dinner.  There was lots of drinking, but as far as I knew, the drivers (myself included) were staying sober.  We had 4 cars:

1. My family + my wife’s parents
2. My wife’s brother’s family
3. My SIL and her husband.
4. My SIL’s 17yo and 10yo daughters

On the way home, the 17yo got distracted by the radio and knocked the side mirror off on a parked car.  So cars #4 (the kids) and #3 (the parents) stopped to leave a note, and the 10yo was understandably not keen on driving the rest of the way with the 17yo.  So she went home in the car her dad was driving, car #3.

The next day I was talking to the 10yo about the accident, and she said the accident was scary, but that she was really scared when her mom was yelling at her to hurry up and get in her dad’s car.  I asked why she was scared, and she told me, “She was yelling at me to hurry up because there was a cop behind us and my dad had been drinking at dinner, and even though he hadn’t caused the accident he was still driving and if the cop came over he could put my dad in jail so we had to leave right then.”

My SIL yelled at her daughter to get in the car with a drunk driver.

You have no idea how fucking mad I am about this.  That my BIL would drive drunk.  That my BIL would drive drunk with his kid in the car.  THAT MY SIL WOULD TELL MY NEICE TO GET IN THE CAR BEFORE HER DAD WENT TO JAIL FOR DRUNK DRIVING!  HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU DUMB CUNT?  Jesus H, you’re supposed to yell at her for getting IN a car with a drunk driver, not for not getting in fast enough!

We left about 2 hours after my niece told me, but before we did I told her that it doesn’t matter that her parents do it, she should NEVER drive drunk, and she shouldn’t get in the car with someone who’s been drinking again.  I could tell by the way she nodded that she knew they were idiots, but it’s not much consolation.

I haven’t called my SIL about it yet.  I just don’t know what to say, and it’s harder because the 10yo is visiting some other family in another part of the state until later this week so they can’t sit and talk about it.

Meanwhile, I’ll sit here fuming.

I hate body image issues.  I hate looking in the mirror and seeing fat me.  He’s always in there.  Sometimes he hides from other people, but never from me.  He’s constantly reminding me about where the snacks are.  About the ice cream in the freezer.  About how good the kids’ snacks would taste.

He wants out.

Some days it’s all I can do to ignore him, and some days (like the past 3) I haven’t been able to.

Stupid.

I can’t stand how much power food has over me.  I can’t stand how easy it is to slip back into my old ways.  I can’t stand how, when someone compliments me, I think to myself (and sometimes say) “yeah, but you haven’t seen my roll of loose skin” or “that’s because I’m wearing clothes to hide my fat.”

I wish there were an easy answer.